beauty

i have put on some make up,
wear my favourite dress and sandals,
looked into the mirror and see a beauty...

but why do i still feel like a complete loser?

monday

it's been a long day for me..
i slept at approximately 3.30 am this morning, woke up at 6.00 to call zia and wake him up, got asleep again, woke up again to jinit's phone call at 8.30-ish and took a quick shower, went to campus to accompany her collecting her diploma, wandered around campus and did a nostalgic chat on the cafeteria, got home, left home again to nurul's house, did some business stuff for our online boutique while waiting for diza to came, and when she did, left for plaza indonesia. had dinner there, then dropped off by diza at citos, waited for zia to pick me up, and came home.
i got home at 10pm-ish, had a little chat with my brother and cousins, zia left at 11.30, and now here i am in my bed, still feeling fresh, not sleepy at all.
oh, and did i tell you that i was fasting today?

hell, what's happening to me? why am i become this energetic. i talk so much today, i did a lot of things, (while fasting,note that) barely had enough sleep the previous night, yet still not sleepy at this hour..

WEIRD. diza and i created an assumption that maybe the food i ate for saur last night had some sort of "booster" in it, and that what makes me this energetic.. hahahahahaa :p

weddings

i've been exposed to a lot of wedding stuffs lately...
my boyfriend's sister is going to be married in 6 days.
my ex-boss is going to be married in 4 months, and she asked me to help her a bit in the preparation, to be the AE/seksi sibuk for her wedding videography..
well i'm not going to tell much about the video as it's supposedly confidential, all i can say is that my new 'job' requires me to watch as much romantic movies as possible.

the holiday, love actually, bridget jones' diary, when harry met sally, wedding date, wedding daze, sleepless in seattle, you've got mail, serendipity, how to lose a guy in 10 days, mamma mia, notting hill, etc, etc, and the list goes on...

well i'm actually already a hopeless romantic inside, so watching those movies makes me become more and more and more hopeless.. hahahahaa. it makes me think about marriage more often, the proposal, preparation, the wedding day, even life after marriage.
it kinda makes me want to get married soon.. hahahahaa... which of course i couldn't do, because i'm going back to college in about 3 months, and, well, i just think neither me or my boyfriend are ready.

i mean, marriage is a huuuge thing, right? not only the business is about you two, but it also involves two big families. gee, i cant imagine how complicated it'll be. well it wouldn't be, if i got married in vegas, hahahaha. but apart from ready/not ready, complicated/not complicated..

i really want to get married soon, hahaha, only for the sake of being inseparable with the love of your life, having someone that is truly yours to keep.. until the end of time :)

can u imagine, exchanging vows, being officially bonded to each other...
waking up to see him next to you,
making him breakfast, preparing his stuffs,
having him take you to the office and pick up later, then have a nice dinner together while talking about your day,
giving birth to his child and raise a little family together,
simply, grow old together....

aaahh, blame those romantic movies, making me this mushy :p

it ain't easy

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
coldplay - the scientist

been playing the song over and over since last night.
been trying to figure out what went wrong.
where did we get lost in the way?
where did our old selves go?
what have changed us?
why is it becoming more and more hard to understand each other?
should we fight, until there's nothing else to fight for?
should we try our best to make this love survive? to keep our promises to the future?
or should we just give up, move on, and live our own lives?

it confuses me, when i have never, ever been so sure about someone before
i have never, ever been in love this much with someone
i have never, ever had a relationship this good with someone
but does it all worth the fights and the pain?

i love you, and gonna keep fighting for you, towards our future
will you do the same for me?