beauty

i have put on some make up,
wear my favourite dress and sandals,
looked into the mirror and see a beauty...

but why do i still feel like a complete loser?

monday

it's been a long day for me..
i slept at approximately 3.30 am this morning, woke up at 6.00 to call zia and wake him up, got asleep again, woke up again to jinit's phone call at 8.30-ish and took a quick shower, went to campus to accompany her collecting her diploma, wandered around campus and did a nostalgic chat on the cafeteria, got home, left home again to nurul's house, did some business stuff for our online boutique while waiting for diza to came, and when she did, left for plaza indonesia. had dinner there, then dropped off by diza at citos, waited for zia to pick me up, and came home.
i got home at 10pm-ish, had a little chat with my brother and cousins, zia left at 11.30, and now here i am in my bed, still feeling fresh, not sleepy at all.
oh, and did i tell you that i was fasting today?

hell, what's happening to me? why am i become this energetic. i talk so much today, i did a lot of things, (while fasting,note that) barely had enough sleep the previous night, yet still not sleepy at this hour..

WEIRD. diza and i created an assumption that maybe the food i ate for saur last night had some sort of "booster" in it, and that what makes me this energetic.. hahahahahaa :p

weddings

i've been exposed to a lot of wedding stuffs lately...
my boyfriend's sister is going to be married in 6 days.
my ex-boss is going to be married in 4 months, and she asked me to help her a bit in the preparation, to be the AE/seksi sibuk for her wedding videography..
well i'm not going to tell much about the video as it's supposedly confidential, all i can say is that my new 'job' requires me to watch as much romantic movies as possible.

the holiday, love actually, bridget jones' diary, when harry met sally, wedding date, wedding daze, sleepless in seattle, you've got mail, serendipity, how to lose a guy in 10 days, mamma mia, notting hill, etc, etc, and the list goes on...

well i'm actually already a hopeless romantic inside, so watching those movies makes me become more and more and more hopeless.. hahahahaa. it makes me think about marriage more often, the proposal, preparation, the wedding day, even life after marriage.
it kinda makes me want to get married soon.. hahahahaa... which of course i couldn't do, because i'm going back to college in about 3 months, and, well, i just think neither me or my boyfriend are ready.

i mean, marriage is a huuuge thing, right? not only the business is about you two, but it also involves two big families. gee, i cant imagine how complicated it'll be. well it wouldn't be, if i got married in vegas, hahahaha. but apart from ready/not ready, complicated/not complicated..

i really want to get married soon, hahaha, only for the sake of being inseparable with the love of your life, having someone that is truly yours to keep.. until the end of time :)

can u imagine, exchanging vows, being officially bonded to each other...
waking up to see him next to you,
making him breakfast, preparing his stuffs,
having him take you to the office and pick up later, then have a nice dinner together while talking about your day,
giving birth to his child and raise a little family together,
simply, grow old together....

aaahh, blame those romantic movies, making me this mushy :p

it ain't easy

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
coldplay - the scientist

been playing the song over and over since last night.
been trying to figure out what went wrong.
where did we get lost in the way?
where did our old selves go?
what have changed us?
why is it becoming more and more hard to understand each other?
should we fight, until there's nothing else to fight for?
should we try our best to make this love survive? to keep our promises to the future?
or should we just give up, move on, and live our own lives?

it confuses me, when i have never, ever been so sure about someone before
i have never, ever been in love this much with someone
i have never, ever had a relationship this good with someone
but does it all worth the fights and the pain?

i love you, and gonna keep fighting for you, towards our future
will you do the same for me?

hello

i'm very sorry my blog,
i haven't been in touch
i haven't write, i haven't tell, i haven't share...

it's not that i've been busy,
u know that i'm still unemployed,
and i'm still procrastinating on my scholarship application,waiting until it's near the deadline (july 31st, that is) to work my ass of and send it to the uni.

so what have i been doing then?
well..
apart from thinking about what to write and how to write the winning scholarship essay,
i'm also in progress of making a UK student visa.
and also,
twittering, plurking, and koprolling ..

ups. there i said that!
sorry blog, but i have been mesmerized by the beauty of microblogging so much, it makes me kinda forget how to do the real blogging.
ups, my bad... :D

will be back in touch soon, i promise!
xoxo

patronus

teman saya, indiet, beberapa minggu lalu ngetag saya di facebook notesnya, mengajak saya berpikir sejenak dan memikirkan hal - hal yang membuat saya bahagia. kalo kata buku harry potter, mantra patronus itu adalah mantra yg diucapkan ketika si harry bertemu dementor, sambil membayangkan hal - hal yg bisa membuat bahagia.. (jelasnya cari di wikipedia yaa hahaha :p)

and here is my list - in random order - :
1. reminiscing my childhood memories - the one with endless vacations, traveling, and quality time with my dear pops -
2. makan coklat! and it has to be MILK chocolate!
3. listening to songs in my iPod
4. discovering new artist, new songs, on the internet, or by friends' recommendation
5. excellent meals from all over the world, makanya gue suka bangett makan buffet di hotel kayak di syailendra atau satoo, tapi sayangnya mahal bgt book, jadi gak bisa sering2 hahaha
6. planning things! organizing something! meet new people!
7. family dinner time
8. nonton american idol dan termehek mehek sendiri sama kebagusan suara para kontestannya, maklum suara gue sendiri sangat dibawah rata rata hahaha
9. ngobrol, ngobrol, ngumpul sama temen temen. old friends, new friends, semuaaaa :D
10. read a good book with a nice cup of vanilla latte
11. spend time with my boyfriend, or when i cant, simply listen to his voice :D
12. creambath, massage, body scrub, meni pedi, pokonya di SPAA...
13. planning my future and setting targets
14. write in this blog, or update my social networking sites :p
15. to know that i have a loooot of family and friends who love me, no matter what. ALHAMDULLILAH :)

statement

i'm in love
with rahmat azizil hakim
that love keeps on growing
bigger, better, and stronger
and i surely hope
it will last a life time :)